Learning and Teaching about the Menstrual Cycle

Pad. Sticky side down.

Tampon. Scary to insert. Will it get lost inside of me? What if I die of TSS?

Blood on my underwear. Don’t let anyone see at all costs.

Oh god, the cramps. Feeling exhausted and uncomfortable.

Pretend like nothing is happening. Go to class, go to work.

These are some of the thoughts that have surely run through the mind of anyone who has ever had a period. Having a period is something that seems intangible and hidden, because it usually is so rarely talked about.

Most of us know periods have been and continue to be taboo in common society (although there are spaces that it’s getting better). But why is it taboo? I think that question boils down to people’s comfort with their own body.

It’s the same line of questioning around…why is it so awkward to ask, learn and teach about sex? I think it’s because it’s too rarely talked about in our homes, schools, society and pop culture.

One easy example are the commercials we are shown by the product companies. Think of your typical tampon commercial - the ladies are sooo happy while dancing ballet and they show how the tampons have this incredible technology worth buying so you’ll never have to worry about leaking. Everything is about “discreet” and “pocket sized” so you can easily hide the product away. Commercials used blue liquid to demo the absorbency of their tampons and pads until 2011. That was the first time that a red dot was shown on a pad instead of a blue liquid. 

But why does it still feel like it’s so disconnected from reality? In the commercials people are never doubled over in pain or discover blood on their bedsheets or have the period poops. Like it’s never showing the real world situations, right?

But it all feels like we are being told to lie and pretend.

I think this is because if we ever have that rare discussion about periods, they are only centered around how to hide them. Commercials are about how to hide it the best so that you can pretend like nothing happened and you can go about your day. Movies may mention it as a way to bring a (usually negative) explanation of a woman-identifying character’s mood and decision-making. 

The number of menarche (first period) stories I’ve heard about kids thinking they literally have blood cancer, because they lacked the knowledge or conversations beforehand, is heartbreaking. It’s heartbreaking because it’s the lack of education and understanding about our bodies, is period poverty. To me, period poverty is not just the lack of access to products, it’s the lack of knowledge of our bodies and thus the lack of autonomy to advocate for ourselves. In this case, knowledge really is power.

Essentially, we’ve been so squeamish about periods that we don’t even want to think about what they are, the natural process of an AFAB person’s body cleansing the uterus of blood, endometrium lining, mucous, cervical and vaginal fluid. Periods are the way to create and sustain life, yet we treat it like it’s dirty and shameful. This happens because both non-menstruating and menstruating folks don’t understand the female body, period, sex ed and continue to chalk that lack of understanding with not “worth respecting.” 

The girlfriend or wife who doesn’t want to “burden” her non-menstruating boyfriend or husband with the education of their kids about periods. The spouse who says, “I don’t have personal experience with periods, so I wouldn’t know anything about that.”

Let’s not let that be the end of the conversation. It’s high time to stop accepting that lack of understanding. Every body deserves understanding and respect. Periodt.

There’s sooo many things happening when you have a period- hormone fluctuations, PMS, PMDD, cramping, regulating, etc.

But, how do we actually have these conversations? How do we start?

It starts small with honest, everyday conversations at home with friends, parents and kids, schools and pop culture. Sometimes reading a book or a short video can help start a conversation where the family can reflect together. This is the only way to share about what a period is and how menstruators are actually dealing, living, managing and managing them. It’s about so much more than a product. And you don’t need to be perfect. It’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s okay to make it fun and bring humor in too! Your kids are smart and they don’t expect you to be perfect.

You wouldn’t believe how many parents, moms included, have asked me if I could talk to their kids about periods and sex ed because they are so intimidated about where to start and scared they won’t have the right answer. Seriously. It really shocked me the first time it happened. And it still happens.

But that just goes to show that the figurative door that is talking about our bodies, our reproductive education, and our feelings around our bodies, has been closed for a long time.

And it seems like each family deals with that door in their own way. Some cover it up and pretend it’s not there, others try to open it a little on some topics like naming body parts and how to use a condom, then close it back up for other topics like periods or masturbation. I think it really comes down to the caregivers’ comfort with our own bodies. If we aren’t comfortable in our own skin, how can we truly empower someone else to be?

This was part of my journey into the reproductive justice space. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to try a tampon and a menstrual cup. Not because they are the best product (although, you know I do like them a lot as I am the cofounder of a period product company haha). But because they taught me more about my own body. I felt soooo empowered the day that I was finally able to insert my menstrual cup! You have no idea. I was so accomplished and proud of myself. And I learned so much about how my cervix, uterus, and vulva work, feel and look. And it gave me knowledge and appreciation for other bodies who share the same experience, too!

It was this experience that led me to writing my first book, “June and the Menstrual Mates: A Menstruator’s Journey and Guidebook.” This is a graphic novel that is for kiddos ages 8-12 to read with their parents to learn about their bodies and their period care options. It follows the main character, June, through her first period experience and how she magically travels (via a magic cowrie shell, I know right?) to Ilume to learn about periods from the Menstrual Mates. 

One of the most important aspects of the book for me, aside from learning a ton from my friends and colleagues in the process, was that June was curious and used that curiosity to learn about her body and periods. That’s how she learned and defeated the “stigma.” In the end, she had a party celebrating her period education. It’s a vision for a world that we can live in, if we choose to remain curious and open-minded to learning about our own bodies, our kids’ experiences and hopefully see that we are all related through our common experience of living in a body.

Resources:

1. https://www.newsweek.com/periods-are-normal-says-first-uk-commercial-use-red-liquid-pad-688699 

2. June and the Menstrual Mates: A Young Menstruator’s Journey & Guidebook (graphic novel): https://www.amazon.com/June-Menstrual-Mates-Menstruators-Guidebook/dp/1736810200 

3. Sunny https://sunnyperiod.com/